Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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