I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize