Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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