Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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