Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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