you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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