I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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