She's JV to your varsity
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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