just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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