so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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