If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize