so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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