note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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