then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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