You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize