I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize