I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
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