Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize