You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize