sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
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If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
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If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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