I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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