All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
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I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
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WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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