how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize