I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize