we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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