if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize