Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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