I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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