Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
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Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
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I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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