He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize