I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize