This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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