Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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