Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize