His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize