The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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