Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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