Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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