Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize