Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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