Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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