When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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