the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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