i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
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Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
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He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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