And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
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I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
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Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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