Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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