i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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