can we get nightvision for the apartment?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i think i have two assholes
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He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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