HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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