is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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